Tell me
by Gater101
Summary: There isn't one yet... **part four**
1. Part one

  
  
  
  
He watched the three of them laughing loudly at one of his lame jokes - one he didn't think of as particularly funny. Carter, Jonas and Teal'c - yep Teal'c was laughing - had been laughing for a ridiculously long period of time and had managed to gain the attention of every other visitor to the restaurant.  
  
"Tell me...tell me you didn't just say that, sir!" Carter managed to gasp out before choking on a sip of beer and causing the recently quieted table to erupt with laughter at her inability to take a drink.  
  
O'Neill thumped his head off the table which only added to the screeching in his head.  
  
"I believe that is the most humorous joke you have told in our time together O'Neill," Teal'c stated causing the table to laugh louder and harder.  
  
"Well thank you T." He grumbled into the table trying to block out all the noises around him; the laughter, the talking, the music form the speaker he had been conveniently placed next to. Not only that but the noise *in* his head; the voices, the images, the screams.   
  
He thumped his head off the table again causing one of the beer bottles to smash right next to his ear adding to the outside pressure on his ears...that and the constant ring-ring coming from his pocket.  
  
Sitting up straight he yanked the cell from his pocket and answered.  
  
"O'Neill," he almost shouted.  
  
"Jack," a familiar voice sounded in his ear.  
  
All noise that had been in his head drained away as he recognized the voice.  
  
"Sara..." he looked at the others in his group but the had all become fascinated in the menu. "How did you get my number?"   
  
There was a pause and then she spoke. "One of your co-workers called me, she said you had been through something awful on your last mission and you being you couldn't - *wouldn't* - talk about it." She paused and must have guessed what he was going to say next. "I think her name was Sam."  
  
O'Neill looked to Carter who was staring at the table an embarrassed and guilty look on her face.  
  
"She's worried about you. She said they had tried to talk to you about it but...they asked me if I could help. I can't remember her last name...Sam...you know who i mean don't you?"   
  
He nodded even though she couldn't see him.  
  
"Carter," he said talking both to his ex-wife and to Carter. Sam's head snapped up and she stared at him. "Look Sara, this is neither the time nor the place for this, I'll call you later." He hung up not giving her a chance to protest.  
  
He wouldn't talk to them? They hadn't even *tried* to talk to him. Then they go and spin a line to his *ex*-wife. These people who called themselves his friends couldn't even talk to him?   
  
No these weren't friends.   
  
"If you'll excuse me." he stood and looked at the three of them who were watching him.  
  
He walked away and made it half way to the door when a hand on his arm stopped him.  
  
"Sir, I'm sorry." Carter said to him. "We didn't know what else to do." She pleaded.  
  
He hesitated then stooped down so he was eye level with her. "You could have tried *talking*." With that he yanked his arm away and walked out into the chill night air.  



	2. Part two

He had been driving for over an hour before he realized where he was...or  
realized that he *didn't* know where he was.  
  
The car was low on fuel and the radio had long since been shut off secluding  
him to himself.   
  
If he was honest with himself he should have seen it coming, should have known  
they would have gotten an outside force to get him to open up...but Sara? Who  
gave them the right to call up his ex-wife and spin her some fairytale? He knew  
one thing for sure; he couldn't forgive Carter.  
  
Jonas and Teal'c, yes okay they're aliens. Jonas is the new guy doesn't want to  
seem too...in there. And Teal'c? Well he's...Teal'c. But Carter? No. She knows  
what it's like to have a snake in your head, to need to speak to someone about  
it. She may not know what it was like to be tortured to death only to be  
brought back to life for it to happen all over again but she did know what it was like to be a host.  
  
Putting the car into reverse he turned the car and headed back in the direction  
he came hoping to find a landmark that he recognized.  
  
He needn't have worried of course; he was only twenty miles outside of Colorado  
Springs meaning he hadn't travelled as far as he'd thought.  
  
The night around him was cold and despite the closed windows and heat from the  
heating system a chill draft still emanated through the car causing him to pull  
the jacket closer around him. Damn the need to get away from everyone.  
  
Remembering he'd switched off his cell after Sara called he switched it back  
on. The resounding beep told him he had voicemail. Feeling the anger leave  
him momentarily he dialled the number and listened as the voice told him he had five new messages.  
  
"Sir...please. I'm sorry. When you get this message can you please return the  
message? I'll most likely be at base. Carter."  
  
He pressed the button to delete the message and his anger rose once again. Did she really expect him to give in that easily? To just forgive and forget?   
  
He listened to each of the other messages - all from Carter except one which  
was from Sara telling him to call her in the morning.  
  
Pressing the accelerator harder onto the floor he sped towards home a million  
thoughts tumbling through his mind at once.   
  
Pulling into his driveway he didn't fail to notice the other occupant of the  
driveway - a black motorcycle that could only belong to one person.   
  
He debated whether or not to pull back out of the driveway but the rational  
part of his brain won out and he withdrew the key from the ignition and stepped  
out of the car.   
  
He walked past the bike and the person sitting on the bottom of the porch steps  
up to the front door and opened it without glancing away from his key. He heard  
quiet footsteps come up behind him on the porch but he didn't turn - refused to  
show what was on his face so apparently.  
  
"I have to apologize."   
  
Ignoring her he stepped into the house and took his jacket off.  
  
"Please, we have to talk." Another pause. "I'm not going to talk to you at your  
front door."  
  
He turned finally and looked at her.  
  
"You better come in then hadn't you?" He swung the door open and allowed Carter  
to enter his house.


	3. Part three

He hung his coat up on the coat hook and felt her brush past his back as she made her way into the lounge. He made sure his jacket had no creases in it then left it hanging and made his way to the kitchen that was separated from the living room by a half wall. 

The air in the house was chilly - just like the atmosphere - so he flicked the switch on the wall and the central heating came on. He could see down into the lounge and to Sam who was balanced precariously on the edge of her seat as though she was going to say her piece then leave. 

Grunting he leaned down and pulled one beer from the fridge and closed the door. He had yet to switch a light on so he had an advantage on Carter. She had her back to him so he used his Black Ops training and made it as quietly as humanly possible into the lounge and sat down in a seat to her left. She noticed him and therefore noticed he had only one beer.

"You know, you really shouldn't drink and drive." She said as her first line and he grunted again.

"You can talk, you had more than me." He sipped his ice-cold beer and leaned back into the armchair. He watched her face change as shadows fell across it as a car passed outside his house.

"I cycled, there's a difference." He didn't even smile. She cleared her throat and continued. "Sir, I know you have gone through something that I...none of us can ever fully comprehend -"

"You can't comprehend. Full stop." He interrupted sending her a glare but he doubted she would have noticed in the darkness.

"*But* we wanted to help and we didn't know how." She stared at him with big blue eyes and his self-being began to crumble until-

"Wanted. Past tense meaning not any more. You've said enough now please - get out." He said it calmly and with as much force as he could muster but she stayed rooted to the spot.

"Sir-" She began but he was on his feet.

"I said get out." He pointed to the door but she still stared at him unmoving.

He saw her shoulders straighten and her chin rise. She was getting ready for battle...and he was defenseless. Who was he kidding? There was no *way* he could intimidate her into leaving. No *way* she would leave without saying what she wanted to say.

"Sir, we did - *do* - want to help you but every other time we have tried you just shut us off. Why should this time be any different?" 

He waited a moment praying that the Asgard chose this moment to need him for some weird 'lets-blow-this-ship-up' mission. None came.

"Because I needed to talk about this! This isn't something that can just go away if I block it out long enough! How could I have spoken to Sara about it unless she has miraculously received clearance that I don't know about? I can't talk to Sara; I never have been able to talk to Sara. I needed to talk to *you*!" He closed his mouth with an audible click unable to believe that he had just said all that.

"The talk to me now!" She pleaded but he was already shaking his head.

"No. The time for talking has finished. I don't need you anymore...I'm sure I'll find some other brick of Naquada to talk to. Now I am ordering you to *leave*." 

She sat for a moment but eventually stood and made her way to the door never once taking her eyes off him until she got to the step and had to turn around or else she would have fallen. With a quick look over her shoulder she picked up her jacket that he hadn't realized she'd taken off and made her way to the door.

"Sir...if you change your mind..." She opened the door a crack waiting for his response.

"I won't." 

He turned away from her and waited for the creak of the door as she left, several seconds past until it happened but it stopped halfway through the long creak it made.

"Sara." He heard Carter say.

Shit. 

FEEDBACK! Do you like????


	4. Part 4

Could this possibly get any worse? All he needed now was Jonas and Teal'c to show up on his doorstep wearing nothing but a pink bra and panties. His ex-wife was standing on his doorstep with a look of shock on her face and the woman who was supposedly his best friend was standing almost in tears.

"I was worried because you hadn't returned any of my calls. I thought I'd stop by and see if you were home...I didn't realize you had company." She turned to Carter as she said the last part and almost glared.

"She was just leaving,"

"I was just leaving," they managed to say at exactly the same time.

Carter turned to look at him and he rolled his eyes - of all the cliches... He looked back to Sara and shook his head already regretting his decision.

"Come in, both of you. I'd like you to meet each other after all...in person not just on the phone." He smiled icily at Carter but she missed it because she'd turned to the door and was in the process of taking Sara's jacket. 

From somewhere in the back of his head he heard alarm bells ringing about the stupidity of his actions. No change there then. 

Sara stepped into the dark room and looked at them both with a suspicious eye. She moved along the wall and flicked the switch that would shed some light into the room. A second later the glare from the overhead light made him wince and turn away. 

He heard Carter mumbling apologies about things that he tried not to care about. Why hadn't she at least *tried* to talk to him? Why hadn't she at least *tried* to help him? Even in the infirmary it seemed as though she couldn't wait to be away from him.

Thank God for Daniel being there.

When he turned back around the entrance hall was empty but the noise form the kitchen indicated that the women had moved in there. So, taking initiative he moved to follow but he was stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. 

He jumped and barely refrained from yelping when he caught sight – or rather didn't catch sight – of whom was there. 

Deciding to take that as a warning to leave the two alone for a few moments he returned to the lounge and sat down with his beer cradled to his chest.

He closed his eyes for a few moments and let the sounds of the world wash over him. For a while there was silence. But then there was something there. The glaring light in his eyes, the sound of yells and cries, the soaring heat in his body and the immense pain in his skull. 

Something trickled down the corner of his lips and he tried to lick it away but something stopped him. A wedge in his mouth prevented him from breathing. 

In the distance he could hear a voice, growing more faint but distressed as time passed. 

"Please tell me he's going to be ok, Janet. Please!" Carter.

He was dying. He knew it. He wanted it. He resented it. He embraced it.

"I can't do that Sam, you know I can't!" Janet replied her voice much calmer and at peace than it had been a few seconds ago.

He was slipping, his metaphorical hands letting go of the metaphorical battle. 

Slipping, slipping…slipping. 

****

YAR! It's cruelty to fan fic readers! Yar! To be continued? Depends on what you all tell me! Sorry for the wait people! I have been revising for…things! 

**Fairy_floss_queen_laura@hotmail.com**** feed me there! **


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